My vacation / sabbatical away from my full time job is coming to an end this week. Last Monday, when my time for refreshing/rejuvenation/relaxation began, it was so wonderful to not have t worry about getting up at 4:30 am… I could actually sleep late (6 am!)… I watched the early morning news shows and did whatever my heart desired. I took the much needed time to get some major projects and other things accomplished. I cleared my headspace long enough to be able to write freely and without hesitation for an unprecedented 2 weeks in a row (concurrently).. WOW! Now that’s saying something.
Now that it’s now Thursday, T minus 4 days until the “return to the madness”, my demeanor has changed. I’ve noticed a certain lull in my spirit… a melancholy that has descended upon my being… Honestly a sadness that this wonderful 2 weeks is coming to an end has taken over not only my thoughts but how I’m living my “now moment (s). I tried blaming it on PMS however, it’s really a case of early onset of Sunday evening blues — that funky feeling that comes over me every Sunday around 12 noon that I have to go back to work on Monday (BIG SIGH)… This pattern has been in place for a very long time.. over 20 plus years of working professionally. I don’t have a recollection as to if it was different when I didn’t have a lot of responsibility or not… all I know is that today is the first time that I’m writing about it.
Intellectually, and as a coach, I know it’s just a state of mind… it’s what I’m making it. Why am I making my life miserable, 4 days in advance of something that is inevitable? It’s really about how I choose to view or think about my work and how I show up in the world regarding my work.
With that revelation out of the way, I’m going back to doing “me”.. for the next 4 days. It’s interesting how you can talk yourself into and out of things so easily. I’ve made myself feel better today and am also choosing to share my mini-journey.
I promise to live in the moment every day and not worry about the stress of tomorrow… This will mean that I plan and chose what I want for myself and how I intend to be my word in all things which will also mean saying “no” to some stuff (now, that’s another topic for another day!). Sunday will be a day of relaxation and family time.. Time to live in the now with those I care about the most. It will also comprise of planning how I intend to take control of those fears, worries, and stress of Monday. What’s most important is I CHOOSE!